Grief and Making The Most Of Your Time
November 14, 2015
Grief and Making The Most Of Your Time
For anyone recovering from grief, it is important to make the most of your time and that you do not allow yourself to wallow in your grief with no apparent direction to follow. This sounds terrible to say, I know, but the reason for saying this will be made clear shortly.
If you are alone with your grief with no structure to follow or you are allowed to be alone, you may find yourself with just your thoughts for company and I’m sure that time may seem endless and possibly full of darkness.
You may not particularly feel like doing anything either which just adds to the emptiness you may be feeling. However time is of the utmost importance when dealing with grief so it is important to gather your thoughts, or have someone do it for you and begin to make yourself a list of things which need to be done as soon as possible or must be done and in what order, then a lower priority could be a list of more enjoyable activities which you could award yourself and give you something positive to look forward to.
If you are caring for someone going through the grieving process, please don’t give up when they tell you that they are okay and that they don’t need anything,
you may well see signs that the person is not feeding themselves or that essential housework isn’t being done and they may no longer be taking care in their eating or
appearance properly. These are an obvious indication that they are still grieving and more obviously they do need some help!
In many instances the sufferer may just be sat or laid thinking to themselves without doing anything letting time pass them by. But you can help them by sitting
with them and chatting, once you have been able to engage them in conversation try to suggest to them that they try to think of things that need doing, some maybe
obvious or even urgent, them there maybe items that they need to do but are less urgent and then they will be a list of things or activities that this person may
wish to do, either now or in the future, this list should obviously be enjoyable and aimed at lifting the spirits of the person still grieving.
None of this is expected to stop the grieving process in its tracks, the grieving process must continue to the end, but it is aimed at getting the person thinking ahead a little in order to try to get a sense of normality into what could be a very empty and isolated period. Everyone is different, we know that ans some will cooperate and follow a suggestion of creating a list. Others may resist and are not yet ready for this stage, they are not yet to try to climb out of their hole, however positive their helper is.
The reality of anyone going through the grieving process is a varied one, but each
case does follow a similar pattern as explained in THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF and
everyone suffering from grief for whatever reason will follow this pattern. The important thing is not to let them remain alone with their thoughts for too long
because to do this is to possibly invite a downward spiral into a much deeper depression. It is natural for people to want to be left alone to grieve and gather
their thoughts, but this can only be allowed to go on for a day or too before changes are made.
One of the initial moves towards recovery is compiling a list as previously mentioned but to expand on this once that the affected person has began to come out of
the latter depression stages and can begin to think about the future once again. These “To do” type lists are excellent projects because they are designed to remind
the person who writes them exactly what it is they need to be doing which is practical but because it is filling a desire it is also a positive in that it provides
a focus for their feelings.
When preparing a list it is only going to be of any use if it accomplishes anything, so with this in mind allocate a specific but achievable goals or time by which
the tasks are completed, it also means that someone should oversea the tasks involved and in this way it you can engage with the affected person and begin to bring back a sense of normality can be experienced, confirming that the end is in sight. It should also bring back a sense of normality, or a routine to the day allowing the person to get their life back in order.
It is also important that the person is looking after their general health, including eating properly as well as their mental well being. Establishing a routine will allow
them to remain organized, visiting their family and friends, take care of all the household chores, leaving time for any social events or other activities old and new.
Any activity which is enjoyable and involves being in the company of other people will put the fun back into life and very soon the cause of the grief will begin to dull,
it will never disappear altogether but the person who has been through the grieving process will be at peace with it and will be able to talk about it without choking
and becoming upset.
The causes of grief are vast and the recovery period will vary from person to person but it will pass and providing that it is carefully managed by family, friends and
occasionally medical professionals everyone who suffers grief will get through it, you just need to remember this when it eventually comes knocking at your door.
See these videos for more helpful information: